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Q&A: A Boss with an Aloof Style and Old Time Beliefs
Dear Tammy!
I deal with a Boss who is Aloof and detached, managing a mature business. He is hostile to all and believes that all joining his team have to go through an extended period of “Baptism by Fire.” He forms opinions based on feedback received from OLD timers in the office. One of the Guys who says—“Show me the Face and I would tell the RULE.” I have had my bad experience with this individual and would like to ensure that he does not mess with me any further. I can only guarantee that I am above average in my work and have not provided any genuine reasons for finger pointing. Any practical Advice is welcome!
Hmmm. That’s not easy. It’s hard when any colleague—and particularly a boss—approaches work from a fundamentally different standpoint than you do.
In this case, your boss’ behavior is consistent with the normal way businesses operated when he was a young employee. He undoubtedly experienced an extended period of having to learn the ropes and follow the rules before he was allowed to offer any input. And he probably turns to other old timers for feedback, since he feels comfortable that they share his values, understand his perspectives, and operate using behavioral norms he understands.
I know that this doesn’t make your situation immediately better—but I hope it makes it a little easier if you keep in mind that he’s not behaving in an unusual way—and would probably be very surprised to learn you view him as “hostile.” As a general rule in life, whenever you meet someone who’s mental model of how things (should) work is very different from yours, start by understanding all you can about where they’re coming from—and develop your strategy from there.
Since he’s the boss, you essentially need to play the game by his rules. This doesn’t mean that you can’t play to win—believe me, he understands wanting to “win”—but you need to figure out how he judges success. What are his metrics? And what do you want? Think in terms of creating a very professional win/win “contract”—you’ll exceed his standards, with the expectation of gaining (more responsibility, more latitude, more money, or whatever you value) in return.
Good luck! And remember, he undoubtedly values loyalty and company commitment, so maintain an upbeat attitude through it all.
Warmly,
Tammy
Filed under: Interactions with Your Manager | Published: 05/11/09
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